Final revisions for my profile paper

• The first thing I need to do, as evident from most of the responses I receive, is to remove a lot of wordy expressions that I use. I don't know where it comes from, but usually when I'm typing my paper, I always type out what's on my brain, which is usually an elaborated sentence, where half of it probably isn't necessary. Even now, I guess my typing is probably similar, but for formal writing, I believe it is something that I should work on.
• A few of my statistics I received from my interviewee were not properly cited in my paper, only because I was on the fence when I was typing the draft about how to go about it. I just figured the information she provided to me could just be used without saying that I got it from her. I have to go back and cite her as a source for some of the more specific things that she told me. There ARE some things in there that may seem like factual information from a source, but some of it is information that I know personally from working with the organization a few times.
• Some of my transition sentences from paragraph to paragraph were to out of place and forced. They really serve no purpose to the paragraph that they're in, but are just there to try and lead into the next one. I'm probably going to eliminate them altoghether or try to incorportate them into the next paragraph so it will make a little bit more sense.